The picture fades in with Cornelius T. Rupert backstage in an undisclosed location and it looks like Cornelius is about to speak...
Cornelius: Yes indeed, it would seem that the one and only, Cornelius T. Rupert has made his way into the Wasteland. Yes indeed, it would also be timely to note that Dark Horse has blessed you all with his mediocre presence here in Wasteland Wrestling, and I bet that all of you pathetic morons are so over-joyed and empowered to have him here to perform for you all. Well let me just say... BIG ****'N DEAL!!! I personally have never heard a superstar that was so boring and unremarkable in all of my time transcending this business. Exhibit A, just look at his appearance tonight for example, same old crap, blah, blah, blah, earn your stripes, yackity schmackity. Let me tell you something buffalo soldier, Cornelius T. Rupert doesn't earn stripes, he takes them!! Cornelius T. Rupert doesn't work for anything, his people bring in losers like you by the boatload to do the work for him!!
I would like to take a few moments to relay to everyone a story that helped Cornelius T. Rupert become the superior individual Cornelius T. Rupert is today. It was passed down to me by my mentor who is now deceased due to undetermined causes which I would rather not elaborate on for personal reasons, and legal ramifications due to pending investigations... Never-the-less, here is what he told me, and I have kept with me to this day, it's called "Jeffery The Goose"...
One day Jeffery and some of his friends had sneaked out of their pen and were quite happily eating grass on the river bank, when two huge dogs who were out for a walk with their master, came charging toward the geese at a tremendous speed. They were going so fast that they slipped on the dew-covered grass and skidded straight into the river scattering the geese as they went. As they hit the river a duck shot straight up in the air and flew out into the centre of the river landing in the water trying hard not to show his disgrace at being caught off guard.
With this Jeffery and his pals burst out laughing--they laughed so hard that they almost split their sides and in doing so they didn't notice the dogs pulling themselves out of the river and shaking themselves dry. The geese only just made it home as the now recovered dogs flew headlong at them, but yet again they skidded and this time crashed into the wire fence and caused such a commotion that the farmer came to see what was happening.
The farmer was cross at the geese for getting out of their pen but he was more cross at the dogs' owner for not keeping them under control. The farmer yelled at the man that he should respect the country code, it was there for a reason not just for the sake of it. With this he fired his shot gun in the air which scared the dogs who ran back to their master with their tails between their legs.
The farmer went back into the house in a huff only to return several minutes later with the feeding pail. As he proceeded to feed the geese and other poultry, Jeffery whispered to his friends, "When he goes in again, how about some of that grass out there for afters?" "No way!" the others cried, as they were too scared the dogs would return.
Jeffery wasn't too upset as that meant all the more grass for him. To which the others said, "he is mad!" They all knew that the last bird who broke the rules too often ended up locked up in the small coop. Jeffery continued to break all the rules and within the week he was locked up in the smallest coop all by himself...
Cornelius: Ladies and Gentlemen, this was the day that I realized why Steve Spurrier wears visors... Because he thinks they are cool!!
The picture on the titan-tron inside the arena cuts from Cornelius T. Rupert and this clip begins to roll for all the confused fans to see [Only admins are allowed to see this link] ... The picture comes back to Cornelius T. Rupert who continues his rambling...
Cornelius: The bottom line Dark Horse is this, if you want to come out here with the same old song and dance week in and week out, well that is just fine with me. Cornelius T. Rupert can kill time with the best of them, the only difference is that Cornelius T. Rupert has more to offer than the walking cliche that is Dark Horse. Cornelius T. Rupert doesn't like you, or your tired act. So Dark Horse, next time you want to come out and bless all of us with one of your scintillating promo's, just do everyone a favor, and don't...
Cornelius T. Rupert drops the mic on the ground and a thud can be heard cutting through the dead silence in this capacity arena as the fans sit in dismay at the deranged rantings that they were just subjected to. Undeniably this borderline psychopathic jerk has left a bad taste in everyone's mouth tonight...
