The titantron turns black then shows prerecorded footage. The camera zooms in on a Whole Foods store. Blake Hamilton walks in the front door.
Blake: So tonight’s the night of another PPV. Slaughterhouse. I’m in a four way match against Connoly, The Legend, and AJ Wacko. The Block Party gave me a chance to do something I loved. Get to know and hang with the awesome Wasteland fans, or at least the ones that like me. I’d really like to give back to them again.
Blake grabs a cart and starts pushing it towards the produce aisle. He grabs some lettuce, onions, tomatoes, and other vegetables to put on burgers. He stops in the fruit aisle and looks at the bananas.
Blake: Well, if these aren’t a perfect metaphor for my good friend The Legend. There are some stages of a banana as it ripens. At first it is ridiculously green. That is where Legend is now. He is inexperienced and new to the Wasteland. He’s not the most skilled in the ring, as I’ve pointed out he hasn’t won a single match yet. I know I didn’t exactly help with that last week, but my point stands. The banana then ripens and is in its perfect stage for consumption. Legend will one day be at the top of his game. That could even happen tonight. Who knows? But when it does happen Legend will be at the top. However, like a banana, that stage will quickly fade and he will be unwanted and discarded.
Blake grabs the banana and squishes it in his hand and throws it to the ground. Blake moves on and sees a display full of nuts. Blake just starts laughing.
Blake: Nuts… you mean AJ Wacko? The man is truly insane. He has talked to himself, been different people, and just violently snapped at random times. He is also the only opponent tonight that I would consider on my level. True, it took the man until our third match before he beat me, but he did it. On his own. In a fair match. No one else in all of the wasteland has done what he has. If I was to lose to him tonight, I could accept it much more easily.
Blake throws a handful of nuts on the ground and stops them into a fine powder. Blake move on and grabs some rolls for the burgers.
Blake: Connoly, bland, boring, stale, and unable to do anything on its own. Oh shoot. Did I say Connoly, I meant bread. Honestly, how long has Connoly be around the business? No one cares any more. There is a reason he is booed. No one wants to hear it anymore, no one wants to see it anymore. Just retire and move on. How did you become a champion? Oh right, after a draw and after you legitimately lost a match for the title you got other people to win the title match for you. The damage done at the Block Party was done by others. Connoly did nothing that match. It’s a shame we are being represented by such a horrible champion. This doesn’t deserve my time or attention.
Blake takes on look at the bread and tosses over his shoulder. He grabs a carton of eggs.
Blake: Tonight all of my opponents…
Blake throws the eggs to the ground and steps on them.
Blake: …crushed.
Blake walks over to the meat counter and orders pounds of ground beef.
Blake: Meat, the product of Slaughterhouses. Where the victims are lured in by a sense of safety and security and killed. Then their carcasses are destroyed and every bit of muscle is harvested. What comes out is nothing but a skeleton. A ghost of the majestic animal that it used to be, now completely void of life. Tonight we all walk into the arena like that poor cow. But in the end, no one is going to leave the PPV unchanged. Even the winners will be broken, bruised and devastated; a shell of their former selves. No one will walk out the same man that came into the Slaughterhouse. Tonight I will enter the arena a different man. The man you have all come to love will not survive tonights match. I have to go into it more brutal, more angry, and more aggressive if I want to live through it. And it has to be even worse if I want to win that title. Deathstar has fostered an atmosphere where only the strongest and most self-serving will survive. Tonight I might have to join those ranks. I hope the fans will respect what I do in the match and I hope you will support the man that returns to the Wasteland after the break.
Blake loads the meat into his cart and makes is way towards checkout. After the cashier rings up the order and asks for payment Blake is visibly upset. He keeps sliding credit card after credit card, each being denied. After Blake goes through his whole wallet he throws it to the ground. Blake takes all of the food he was going to buy and throws it around the store. He kicks down displays cases around him and throws a cash register through a window. Blake jumps out through the window and runs to his car, still devastated from the Block Party. He yanks open the driver’s side door, which falls off the hinge and hits the ground. He throws it into the trunk of the car and speeds off.
The screen goes black.
Iron Maiden: Well, that was unexpected.
Paranormal: Looks like this season might have been the one that makes Blake crack.
Iron Maiden: Maybe a win tonight can help bring him back to the person we all love.
Paranormal: speak for yourself, I like this guy a lot more than that spoiled rich brat we’ve had to deal with in the past.
Iron Maiden: Connoly, AJ, and Legend better watch out. This is a brand new Blake, and I have no idea what he will do tonight.
